Just arrived at the Miami Cancer Institute’ suited up with the full Armor of God. Inside my bag was my red chemo cape as my reminder that God’s blood covers me. I was rocking this special t-shirt from Michelle to remind me that I can do all things through Christ who is fighting and strengthening me through my battle with ovarian cancer.
When you get a cut, what’s the sign of healing? Well, for most, the outward visible sign of a scab covering the wound, right? In my case, I want to look at it from a different perspective. Though I can not see the healing taking place within my body, I know it to be so because scripture reminds us, “Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.” Jeremiah 17:14
Now, let’s go a little deeper to say that, though I pray for physical healing from this ovarian cancer, the true healing that I have assurance of is being spiritually healed within, thanks to the precious blood of Jesus.
This time around with the chemo, I was asking Dr. Diaz if he had another research trial to put me on, and he said not at this time. I mentioned to Pete that I wished one would be available soon. But you know what the Holy Spirit ministered to my heart, that I don’t need a mystery drug for my healing to happen, my healing will come through the mighty name of Jesus.
So when my principal and friend sent this song to me on June 25, 2019, I clinged to the words reminding me that God, You ARE the healing running through my veins. I wanted to share the verses Jeanette Bayardelle sang, entitled, “Healing Running through My Veins.”
You are my health, my power my strength
You are the healing running through my veins
And You help me do what I must do and owe it all
I owe it all to You
My wounds, my pain, my sorrow, my shame, my grief
You are the balm that covers me
Rivers of life, green pastures I see
And through the storm I still have peace
So sickness, disease you can’t have your way
Cause God is the healing running through my veins
And no bad report can steal my joy away
Cause God Your the healing….running through my veins
Check out the song:
On Thursday, January 23rd, one day before my treatment, I received this text from Michelle and what a message it was because ironically her devotion was exactly what we have been studying in our Women’s Small Group.
There are times in our faith walk when we struggle to see ourselves the way God sees us. Mighty man of valor, that’s what the angel of God referred to Gideon as, yet he struggled to see himself as such. But little do we realize that how God sees us and who He says we are is far greater than what the world sees in us, and that’s because we fail to see who we are in Christ.
In Lauren Daigle’s song, “You Say,” she asked the Lord to remind her once again just who she was because she needed to know.
“You say I am loved, when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong, when I think I’m weak
You say I am held, when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, Lord You say I am Yours….”
Her song goes on to say that the ONLY thing that matters is everything God thinks of her.
My friends, that’s what really matters at the end of your life, is how God sees you. God is our all in all. He is truly all that we have and all we will ever need. Humankind will fail us, but God my friend, He never fails!
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:3
So when I received this early morning message from Michelle, what a great reminder it was that as I prepare for my second round of chemo, my Yahweh Shalom will continue to sustain me with His peace that surpasses all understanding.
What a beautiful picture to wake up to as my reminder of my BFF’s love and support. Her devotion is a reminder that the same unchanging God who fought for Gideon will continue His fight for me. He had to dwindle down Gideon’s army of men from 32,000 to a measly 300 to show Gideon it’s not how many in your army but Who fights for you in the battle. The same message my Lord wanted to share with me through Michelle’s devotion is that it’s not about the clinical research I was apart of or the mystery drugs I would take, but that He IS the chemo running through my veins.
After receiving my text from Michelle, notice my response to her was for her to “Have a great day at work, while I chill out at the hospital, sipping on my chemo juice 😋🥤because after all…Jesus is the chemo running through my veins.”
Well, the day of treatment I had to attend an education class before my infusion and it’s funny to reflect back on the emoji I chose to use was red juice in a cup that I would be sipping on (which I meant intravenously, being my chemo juice). I only used that emoji to say to her that the red juice represented the blood of Jesus.
My God never ceases to amaze me, and He loves to put a smile on His children’s face as a reminder to say, “Heyyyy….I hear your thoughts and I never stop listening. I’m with you always!”
Well, how funny because when I sat with the nurse who conducted the chemo education, she says to me, so the Doxil drug you will be taking is RED. “Oh yeah I thought, the Blood of Jesus!” And I smiled to myself and was reminded that God chooses to speak to us through the simplicity of life just to remind us that He hears our thoughts and He knows our heart. She went on to tell me not to be alarmed when I go to the bathroom and my urine is slightly red. My thought was, “Ohhhh, I won’t be alarmed, because my Jehovah Rapha will cleanse and heal me!”
Well after the education nurse finished saying everything and reminding me of the importance of taking the necessary precautions, like eating right, hydrating my body, staying moisturized, monitoring my temperature, staying out the sun, and a host of other things, she asked me if I had any questions. I said, ”You know, all I want to say is that people come here expecting to be healed from the medicine, but what works for me is prayer. Knowing that the One who truly does the healing is God. It is He who has the final word” and it was so refreshing to hear her reply., “You are so right, it is God who decides what happens to us, so we have to trust him.”
The love and support from a few of my Prayer Warriors.
Michelle showing me her support of Ovarian Cancer with her teal rubber bands. That’s not how she really smiles. 😂😂
She didn’t know that two days prior I had also chosen teal for my rubber bands.
More love sent my way from Alexa, Liz (teacher & friend), and Michelle, after their Walkathon.
God’s love and His sacrificial blood is our saving grace and He extends Himself to all who would call upon Him for His free gift of salvation. All that truly matters is what God says about us, because His names defines who we are in Christ since His Holy Spirit lives within those who declares Him as their personal Savior.
My God is all these things and so much MORE ❤️